BREAKING FREE FROM ANGER
I have always viewed myself as having a long fuse when it comes to anger. However, the older I get, I believe that fuse is getting shorter! A lot has to do with the way I deal with the frustrations of life.
Most of us can be lumped into two groups for purposes of classification: expressers and suppressors.* Expressers are categorized as such because they express their anger outwardly. They may do so positively or negatively. They may explode in a temper tantrum or they may express it more appropriately, but the key word is they express it.
On the other hand, there are suppressors. Suppressors tend to hold their anger inside of them. They may act politely when inside they feel like they are about to explode. They usually reason (often, correctly) that the frustration is a small one and not worthy of mentioning or (incorrectly) that anger, in and of itself, is wrong and suppressing their feelings is a strategy for overcoming anger.
Both expressers and suppressors struggle with “sinning” in their anger. Expressing anger appropriately and dealing with it as soon a possible is the ideal. However, those who are expressers by nature tend to lack the control to do so. Something happens and BAM!—all of their feelings are out there – the good, the bad, and the ugly!
In the same way, suppressors may not say or do something rash, but the frustration eats at them from the inside out. This is not healthy. It can cause ulcers, headaches, high-blood pressure—you name it! You cannot keep swallowing poison, before it comes back up—often violently. Suppressors reach the point where they can’t take it anymore and they EXPLODE! Usually, their explosions are grossly disproportionate to the situation and often are directed toward the wrong people.
Here is where my temper comes in. I am a suppressor. Over the years, I have been the good boy and kept my anger hidden from view. So yes, I reach the last straw a lot more often than I used to and my fuse keeps getting shorter. Usually, the people I hurt in my anger are those I love the most—my family. They may have little or nothing to do with my state of frustration, but they may get the brunt of it.
The scripture addresses both expressers and suppressors in Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” To both expressers and final straw suppressers, Paul commands, “Don’t sin in your anger.” To all the suppressors of the world, Paul commands, “Deal with your anger ASAP.”
All anger and frustration must be dealt with and the sooner the better. Again, the goal is expressing anger appropriately. Express your anger to the right person at the right time and in the right way. If you can’t find any one of those “rights,” it is time to go out in the woods to stomp, howl, cry, pray, throw rocks—whatever it takes to get it out of your system!
Blessings! Joey
BREAKING FREE FROM ANGER
Message Outline
- Own Up to your Anger – Ephesians 4:26
- Take a “Time-Out” – Ephesians 4:26, Ephesians 4:29-30
- Deal Positively with your Anger – Ephesians 4:26
- Get Rid of It – Ephesians 4:31
- Don’t Suppress It – Ephesians 4:25
- Express it Appropriately – Ephesians 4:26
- Forgive– Ephesians 4:32
- Be Forgiven – Ephesians 4:32-5:2
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