Gripesgiving Day

Why I Don’t Celebrate Thanksgiving

Do you still celebrate Thanksgiving? What an outmoded and hypocritical practice! We gripe, moan, criticize and complain every day of our lives about family, church, politics, the economy, sports, work, our health, our healthcare system, the president, congress, the right, the left, the preacher, the elders, our house, our apartment, our rent, our mortgage, our husbands, wives, children, in-laws, our circumstances, and it goes on and on.

Then, we dedicate one day a year for Thanksgiving and we say all piously, “Oooo, let’s give thanks for all our blessings.” We gather as much family together as we can stand and suggest such hypocritical practices as, “Let’s all hold hands and one by one share what we are thankful for.” Or, we ask uncle Bob to offer thanks for the meal and we say, “Now, be sure to include gratitude for us all being together another year.” — when none of us can really stand uncle Bob because of his ignorant political leanings and the fact that he always pulls for the opposite team during the football game and he consistently takes more than his share of the mashed potatoes.

Afterward, we all go back to our corners of the house, the city or the world (because we actually travel to give expression to this hypocrisy) and we then complain about the experience. “The turkey was too dry, wasn’t it? When will Charlotte just break down and buy a Butterball. You know, it tells you when it’s ready. I think it’s Bill’s fault; he is just so cheap. Did you notice they skimped on the desserts again this year? Aunt Silvia used to bake all of those award winning pies. Did you see what she brought this year? — Edward’s. She didn’t even bother to thaw it out! I hate watching football with Joan — you know she talked through the whole game. I never get to see the kids; they sit down for fifteen minutes to eat and then go back to their rooms for their video games. Did you notice, they couldn’t even put their phones down to eat? Why did Sadie bring up Trump and Biden at the dinner table? She knows it always leads to arguing. I think she does it on purpose.”

Nope, I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving any more. I suggest a new holiday—Gripesgiving Day. Let’s just be honest about it. Let’s set aside a holiday for complaining. We can give vent to all of our
complaints. We can argue and bicker from sunrise to sunset. Just imagine! 24 straight hours of permission to vent all our frustrations, problems and gripes. It would be glorious!

But here’s the catch, if we choose one day of gripesgiving, we have to spend the next 364 days of the year being thankful for everything in our lives (1 Thessalonians 5:18, KJV). No griping or complaining allowed. Doesn’t that make more sense? If we “flip the script” on Thanksgiving, I think we would be a healthier and happier people. What do you think?

Author’s Note: I shared this with Tina and she asked me, “Do you think people will understand that this is satire? You know we tend to be black and white thinkers.” I said I would give a little
disclaimer at the end clearly identifying it as satire and in case people still misunderstood, I would explain more in my lesson.

She retorted, “This isn’t going to be another long lesson is it? It’s all I can do to sit through a regular….” I interrupted her, “Save it for Gripesgiving Day!”

— Joey